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And she was a lesbian. Or, as my friend Michelle puts it, "I wonder if saying you'd 'go gay' for someone implies that you won't "stay gay" for them? And it really messed me up. Hilary, 50, echoed the sentiment, and says she has even used lesbian porn as a kind of instructional tool for her fiance. She thrives on attention.

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For example, I am a cisgendered woman who eschews sexual preference labels but who has had significant, intimate relationships with both men and women.

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When she came out at 15, my parents were understanding and supportive in spite of not really understanding lesbianism or the LGBT community in general. What I did to Rae wasn't about sexual preference; it was about me being scared, selfish, and utterly conflicted. I take it back; this is actually the worst reason. Michael Musto.

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But as women left, right and centre are declaring they're "going gay" for Ruby, some lesbians are getting increasingly frustrated with what they see as a diminishing of identity and a convenient side stepping of the realities facing the lives of LGBTQI people.

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